Hi, hello! I wrote a whole thing about my revived struggle with hormonal acne and why I feel so sheepish about it, but then I never finished putting the post together. Like it’s sitting in my draft doc, languishing. Now I feel sheepish, squared – about not just posting something once I’ve written it. Because I’m overthinking… does anyone need to read about why having middle-aged hormonal acne feels weird to me?! No, certainly not. But might you want to read it anyways? Maybe.
But today I am thinking about something else. There’s a program in Massachusetts to help people save money on utilities by getting an energy assessment, and we finally got our house assessed last week.1 Most of what we found out were small, insignificant things: there was no aerator on our bathroom sink, we were able to get a better thermostat. But at one point the very nice assessor man went into the bedroom and drilled a very small hole into the wall. I want to show you something, he said. A camera snaked from his phone into the hole in the wall. You’ve got no insulation.
Imagine!! No insulation! It made me feel like we’d been walking around naked. Like, oh, the reason why certain parts of the house are so cold? Because in the walls it’s just… walls and empty space.
I think about the people who lived here in the hundred years before I moved in. The assessor mentioned that fuel was so cheap when the house was built, they probably didn’t worry about keeping it heated. I wonder what I’m doing now, that people in a hundred years will shake their heads at.2
So we’ve got no insulation. It’s a mini kind of a jerking-awake type thing, for me. A few days ago I found out that my read receipts were turned on, not for everyone, but for just a few crucial people in my contact list (hi sister, hi partner). That walking-around-naked feeling is the same. A panicked feeling of, what does everyone else already know about me, that I’ll be the last to find out?
What I made
This was very hard to keep secret, but I made this quilt for my dearest friend Lily’s birthday. We had talked a bit about the color palette earlier this fall, but other than that I just kind of went for it! It was good practice sewing curves and doing more appliqué.3
I quilted it on my little machine – straight lines for the main part of the quilt, and the free motion waves in the green borders. And then I hand quilted the blobs, which I enjoyed more that I expected to. I did the binding with 2.25” continuous bias binding and it was a little too skinny at some points but we made it work. Happy birthday sweet Lily!!!
2024
I’m starting to think about my personal and professional and creative goals for 2024, and I have the first inkling of an idea. I’m thinking about making some sort of Long Covid / chronic illness group quilt but I don’t know anything about group quilts and fundraising and all that – if you do, please tell me!
I have just a few more days of work this year before I slide into the haze that is pre Christmas through January 2. If you’d like a New Year’s card from #1 Lexington AKA the number one spot this year, please fill out this address form (if you filled it out last year and your address hasn’t changed, you’re good).
Watching/Listening/Reading
Watching
DREAM SCENARIO – I really liked this! Funny but sad. I really didn’t like Nic Cage for a while there but I have come all the way back around.
We watched MASTER AND COMMANDER over Thanksgiving which was honestly sick as hell
Started watching THE CURSE. I’m offended that it is possible to make Benny Safdie this unhot after his extremely hot turn as hot dad in ARE YOU THERE GOD IT’S ME MARGARET
Relatedly, I am finally caught up on VANDERPUMP RULES. It only took me five months. I’m ready for S11 baby.
HOW TO WITH JOHN WILSON – somehow I am late to this, lovely.
Listening
Radiolab – this episode about the interstitium and what the hell it is encapsulated exactly what I love about that show. Omg.
Someone at work asked what people’s top new albums of 2023 were, and mine are, in no order, Rat Saw Dog by Wednesday, Mind Palace Music by @, HELLMODE by Jeff Rosenstock, and the record by boygenius (of course). The other two that got lots of play time in my brain even though they’re not from 2023 are Stumpwork by Dry Cleaning and Oh Vanille/ Ova Nil by Diane Cluck. That’s good stuff!!
Also for some electro vibey stuff listening to ML Buch’s album Suntub but especially the track “Fleshless hand.”
Reading
Since I was last here, I finished up Anna Karenina. I had forgotten that Levin turns to religion in the final part of the book; it doesn’t surprise me based on where I am and how I am feeling at this point in life, which is about where Levin is in the book. That his religious awakening is solidified by Kitty’s near death in childbirth also tracks. What an incredible book.
The Baby Decision – I recently read this book, which I think would be useful for anyone thinking about parenthood, even if you think you know what you want to do with regard to having kids. It’s also a great framework for decision making in general, highlighting that not making a decision takes away your agency and prevents you from really feeling your feelings and accepting the joys and regrets of any one decision.
Demon Copperhead – currently. Idk, I think maybe I don’t like Charles Dickens to begin with (plots too meandering!) but perhaps it’s worth a revisit.
This interview with David Byrne in the NYT.
This visualization about long covid in the NYT.
Next up, I am homeless if this is not my home. Lorrie Moore 4ever
xoxo
mvp
This is the one we used, lots of states have programs like this! Our future insulation will be provided at no cost to us.
Flying multiple times a year? owning tiny computers? not wearing masks to prevent airborne disease? jk I got that one